Why Weaponized Incompetence is Decreasing Your Libido

From The Pleasure Principles with Dr Jordin Wiggins · 29:03

Show by Dr Jordin Wiggins ND

JOIN: HOLD YOUR CENTER: For Women Who Are Done Losing Themselves to Overfunctioning April 29th, 2026 You have asked him to do it 17 times. It is still not done. That is not forgetfulness. That is not ADHD. That is weaponized incompetence, and it is the number one hidden brake on female desire that no one is naming correctly. Weaponized incompetence is when a person performs helplessly in a specific domain so consistently and convincingly that the competent, over-functioning person stops expecting anything from them and permanently absorbs the task. He can't fold laundry, but he can manage a fantasy football team. He's helpless in the kitchen on a Tuesday, but when it comes to coordinating a boys' trip, they eat like kings. That is not a skill deficit. That is a choice. And your body knows. Your brake does not switch off because the children are asleep, and he has indicated interest at 9:35 PM. Resentment is a brake. Carrying the full cognitive load of the household is a brake. Watching somebody be on their phone while you manage a meltdown, pack lunches, and coordinate tomorrow's logistics is a brake. That is not low libido. It is your body accurately responding to its environment. We break down what weaponized incompetence actually is, why couples therapy misses it, how to spot it in your relationship, and why mismatched libidos and desire discrepancy are a power problem, not a communication problem. Your pleasure centers do not care about how much you love him. They respond to felt safety, pleasure-centered equality, and actual partnership. HOLD YOUR CENTER: For Women Who Are Done Losing Themselves to Overfunctioning is a three-hour experience for women who lose themselves to over-functioning. You will identify your patterns, interrupt them in real time, and learn how to hold someone else's discomfort without collapsing or trying to manage it. *If you are a past client, DM for your discount code. Subscribe to The Pleasure Path on Substack for deeper frameworks, case studies, and diagnostic tools that accompany this work. And if you want to map out exactly where you are and where things are going wrong, book a Pleasure Path Assessment. If you want to understand your patterns first, take the Super Trait Quiz. -Ontario Residents can book a clinical appointment HERE. If you are ready for personalized support and do not want to keep analyzing this on your own, APPLY HERE for private coaching. 1:1 Intimacy & Pleasure Coaching with Dr. Jordin Wiggins Want to go deeper? Join me over on Substack for The Pleasure Path, HERE. Connect with me on Instagram [@drjordinwiggins] Chapters 0:00 Intro and the gap in female health research 3:15 Defining pleasure-centered relationships 6:40 The dual control model: accelerators and brakes 9:50 What is weaponized incompetence? 13:10 The leisure time gap and domestic labor stats 16:25 How performance of helplessness creates a libido brake 19:45 Selective incompetence and DARVO explained 23:15 Why standard therapy fails to address power imbalances 26:30 The physical and emotional cost of overfunctioning 28:10 How to reclaim your power

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