Why Retirement at 65 Might Be the Wrong Goal with Derek Coburn, CADRE

From Visionary Advisor · 50:05

Show by Totalfamily.io | Doing Legacy Better

Retirement isn’t just a number or a dollar figure. Advisors who focus only on financial milestones risk missing the most important parts of their clients’ lives.In this episode of Visionary Advisor, hosted by Alex Kirby (founder of Total Family), Derek Coburn joins to challenge the traditional story advisors tell about retirement. Derek is an author and longtime advisor to wealthy families, founder of CADRE, and best known for his book Let’s Retire Retirement. The conversation takes a hard look at what real ‘well-being’ means for clients and why “enough” is rarely just a balance sheet calculation.They explore why many high-net-worth clients don’t aim for a fixed retirement and how their lives, health, and family connections often matter more than a set age or sum. Major themes include reframing the retirement question, the overlooked value of purpose and relationships, and the impact advisors can have when guiding clients to invest in their present, not just their distant future. The episode also examines work’s role in well-being, why traditional planning can leave clients feeling behind, and how legacy is lived, not just documented.For advisors working with affluent families, this episode encourages a more human, values-based approach to both planning and everyday client conversations.What You’ll Learn in This Episode00:00 Why focusing only on numbers fails high-net-worth clients00:34 How non-traditional family backgrounds shape views on work and parenting05:37 Why most wealthy clients don’t actually aspire to a “retirement age”08:15 The importance of finding work clients don’t hate — and how it changes their planning needs09:16 How purpose, not just happiness, drives health and longevity13:33 The math of working longer — and the impact on required savings rates17:38 How to ask better questions to reveal clients’ real goals and habits20:00 Why “future-focus” can rob families of joy in the present28:06 How advisors can support clients’ investments in health, family, and culture using financial capital33:25 Practical company policy ideas that support true recharging (not just unused vacation days)41:05 Why optimizing your day only works if you know what actually matters to you46:11 The foundational role of values in legacy and planning conversationsNotable Quotes from Derek Coburn“We have an opportunity in our role as a financial advisor when we're talking with people to do things that meaningfully improve the lives of our clients… If we just keep the focus entirely on the money, I think we're doing them a disservice.”“If you find work that you don't hate, if you find work that isn't sucking your soul, you're probably not going to want to stop at 65.”“I don't think that we were put here on this planet to work a job we don't enjoy for 30 years to earn the right to sit around and do nothing for 30 years after that.”“The more walking tours that we go on now, the more golf we're playing now, the more we're dating our spouse now, the more likely it is we're going to be able to continue to do those things into our 70s because we're exercising those muscles, we're exercising those relationships.”ResourcesLet’s Retire Retirement by Derek Coburn CADREThe Wait But Why article on “parent time” by Tim UrbanThe Harvard Study of Adult DevelopmentSend us feedbackStay Connected with Visionary Advisor We believe wealth is well-being. Subscribe to the Visionary Advisor Newsletter for practical tools and ideas to serve families across generations. Explore more at totalfamily.io | Follow us on LinkedIn | Watch episode clips on YouTube

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