How to Let Go Without Losing Connection

From The Paula Faris Show · 36:21

Show by That Sounds Fun Network

We've spent 18 years preparing our kids to leave home. But who prepared US, the parents, for what happens when they actually do? In Episode 2 of our month of conversations about COLLEGE, I'm back with Harlan Cohen, best-selling author and college expert, talking about one of the hardest parts of parenting college kids: letting go and parenting from a distance. I’ll be honest, this transition has rocked me. I thought I was prepared when my daughter Caroline left for college. I was not. The emotional adjustment has been so much harder than I anticipated. And it raises a bigger question: Are we helping our kids become independent, or are we making it harder for them to grow up? Harlan and I talk about the grief that can come with launching our kids, how to navigate homesickness (it's very normal!) and the emotional ups and downs of college life, and why we need to resist the urge to swoop in and fix everything. We also get super practical and answer YOUR questions: How often should we call or text? When should we step in, and when should we let them figure things out? And how do we stay connected without helicopter-ing? Plus, Harlan shares his super-simple framework for helping our kids navigate challenges on their own and a little tough love for parents who might need to find something outside their kids to get excited about. Letting them go doesn't mean loving them less. It just means learning how to love them differently. Let's Talk About It! Listen in to learn more: 0:04:08- The Feeling of Loss in Launching a Child to College 00:06:54- How Knowing What Is Normal Helps Us Prepare 00:10:20- Why Launching Our Kids Can Feel Like Grief Wrapped in Celebration 00:13:11- Doing Less for Your College Student Doesn’t Mean Loving Them Less 00:16:35- Guiding Your College Student Without Giving Them All the Answers 00:19:30- The Power of Natural Consequences 00:21:32- Why Part-Time Jobs Are Good for College Students 00:22:53- Honest Conversations and Setting Communication Expectations with Your College Student 00:27:27- Helping Your College Student Find Support On Campus In this episode, we are digging into the emotional challenges of sending a child off to college, why the transition of sending a child to college can feel like grief, how to navigate this major transition in family life, letting go without loving your child less, how to build honest and vulnerable communication with your college student, ways to encourage young adults to solve their own problems, the power of natural consequences, and the value of part-time jobs for college students. Paula’s Newsletter is on Substack! Connect with Paula on Instagram THE CARRY ALL weekly newsletter is on Substack! Best First Year, https://courses.bestfirstyear.com/ Your coupon code: PAULA37 will give $37 off the purchase of a 12- or 18-month membership Here's a link to Harlan's on-demand events for high school and college parents: https://courses.bestfirstyear.com/collections Substack: https://harlancohen.substack.com/ Linktree: https://linktr.ee/harlancohen Crowdsourced Shopping List: www.Harlanslists.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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