AuDHD Dating vs Friendship: What 800 Dates Taught Me
From Not Quite Typical: AuDHD & Neurodivergent Conversations · 00:27:03
Show by Amber Nap
I’ve been on nearly 800 dates. Two became relationships. In the same time, I’ve made nine close friendships without a single app. So is it really true that neurodivergent people are “bad at relationships”? Or is dating just not built for AuDHD brains?In this solo episode of Not Quite Typical, I unpack why dating can feel so hard for autistic and ADHD people, and why our friendships often work so much better.We get into:• Amatonormativity, the belief that romantic love outranks every other kind of love (a term coined by philosopher Elizabeth Brake)• Sensory overload, hidden social rules and rejection sensitivity on dates• The relationship escalator, and why it doesn’t fit everyone• Dating apps, dopamine and the ghosting loop• Why dating asks us to do in an hour what friendship takes months to build• Unmasking, double empathy and low-demand friendships• Neurodivergent love languages, including penguin pebbling 🐧• Three ways to find your peopleIf you’ve ever been told you’re too much, too intense or just bad at connection, this one’s for you.00:00 800 dates, 2 relationships, 9 close friends02:05 Flipping the lens03:01 Amatonormativity: the rule nobody told us05:32 Why dating is harder for neurodivergent brains08:26 Dating apps and the dopamine slot machine13:59 One seat vs a whole table16:14 Ghosting and the uncertainty loop17:27 Dating rushes what friendship takes months to build21:19 Why neurodivergent friendships work23:17 Neurodivergent love languages25:24 How to find your people26:03 Not giving up on love, just redistributing it26:44 Your turnFollow the show so you never miss an episode, and leave a rating if this one landed. Come say hi on Instagram @notquite_typical and tell me: what friend has changed your life?#AuDHD #autism #ADHD #neurodivergent #latediagnosed #dating #friendship
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