anhedonia.
From ☣️Ms Xxan · 2:25
Show by cw for mature, explicit lyrics! ☣️☣️☣️ brief episodes at one to three mins. no intro, only spoken verse with musical accompaniment. content (music, voice) written, produced, performed by Ms Xxan ☣️☣️☣️
maybe i'm not real hope i'm not i can't keep going all i can do is look back and feel bad can't feel good about anything develop coping mechanisms to get through get through memories the night terrors that i experience are my memories i replay them over and over maybe you do something else with yourself i play a sick game where i remember things nothing changes eventually things start happening they wear away your innocence wear away your faith belief that anything is good because nothing is i remember a past self who isn't me who felt hopeful about things felt good, liked people felt love and affection felt a sense of purpose i don't feel any of those things anymore and the irony is that person probably would have thought they’re better than me but they were just stupid and the sick joke is that i have to remember what i felt like to be that dumbass who was hurt, abused i have to get away from it can't stop replaying these things in my head they don't go away never will go away don't believe i will ever feel nice again i've lost interest i can't face anything don't see the point [lossless audio available at vumantra.bandcamp.com] Get full access to Ms Xxan at msxxan.substack.com/subscribe
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