142: Codependency: How to Stop Overgiving Without Shutting People Out

From The Everyday Awesome Project · 1:14:28

Show by Polly Mertens & Samantha Pruitt

If you’ve ever felt anxious when someone you love is struggling, then caught yourself trying to fix it fast, this conversation lands with a thud. We’re naming the pattern behind the “I’m just being helpful” reflex: codependency, a learned set of survival behaviors where our self-worth and emotional state get tied to someone else’s approval, needs, or crisis. And we connect it to attachment style and the nervous system, because you can’t always think your way out of something your body still reads as danger.We start with clear definitions of attachment and codependency, then move into what codependent patterns look like in real life: people pleasing, overgiving, overfunctioning at work, rescuing in leadership, and the parenting version of emotional bubble wrap. We also talk about why resentment is such a reliable signal and how “forgiveness” can sometimes be fear-based tolerating, not love-based relating. Along the way, we use Internal Family Systems ideas to explain why a protective part can keep running the show even when you’re self-aware.To help you shift, we offer tools you can use immediately: noticing the grip in your body, practicing a pause before you advise or rescue, changing your language from “helping” to “offering,” and having conversations that create new agreements in your relationships. If you want healthier boundaries, secure attachment, and relationships that feel lighter without going cold, hit play, then subscribe, share this with a friend who over-carries, and leave us a review. What’s one place you’re ready to stop managing and start relating?Send us Fan Mail Follow Coach Polly @getbusythriving and Coach Sam @thesamanthapruitt Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/everydayawesomeprojectFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/everydayawesomeprojectLinktree for ALL THE THINGS: https://linktr.ee/everydayawesomeprojectWebsite/About Us: https://everydayawesomeproject.com/about-us/

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