Week 9: Scrap Heap
From Burn Mode: Dreamers of Dreams · 11:48
Show by Hunchline Football
League edition — The Dreamers of Dreams: Redux, Week 9 (format v5.1, Tuesday finals). One league, one voice, one song. League data from the league's own ESPN feed (with the Week 9 box scores and the week's 20 moves); NFL callbacks from nflverse Week 9 finals. Team names only. Week 9 finals Pookie Bears 166 — Ghost of JP 84 (blowout of the week, by 82, the biggest margin of the season; Ghost of JP's seventh straight loss) LeBron James 141 — Barkley in the UK 60 (three pickups, 45 points; Barkley's second-lowest score of the year) Commissioner Gordon 149 — The Ambiance and The Decor 107 (the commissioner's third straight win; the unluckiest loser) Hurts Don't It 107 — Sherman's Batch 88 (the team drafted last over the team that was 7-0) Another Revision 93 — Ty Law School 55 (C.J. Stroud, 5 TD, 37 points, on Another Revision's bench; lowest score of the week) O-Bijan Kenobi 129 — lets go joe flacco 76 (Bo Nix finally starts; Bryce Young scores 20 on the bench in the same game) Heard City 114 — The Hoff Sauce 81 (two Hoff Sauce running backs at zero; Jordan Love 35 on Heard City's bench) Season so far — LeBron James 7-2 with the most points (1,117) and the best all-play (83-34); Hurts Don't It 7-2, drafted 14th; Sherman's Batch 7-2 after two straight losses, 63.5-53.5 all-play (+2.1), 29 pickups (most); Pookie Bears 2nd in points (1,060) but 7th; Ty Law School 10th in points but 4th, fewest points against (826); Heard City 73-44 all-play, 8th; lets go joe flacco 1-8, the unluckiest team by all-play (−1.8) and 1,138 against; Barkley in the UK fewest points (763), 28-89 all-play, 4-5; Ghost of JP seven straight losses; Another Revision the most consistent (93–120); zero trades. Moves, graded — LeBron James: 49ers D/ST 19, Seth McGowan 11 (a touchdown), Jake Bates 4/4 (the kicker Another Revision cut) — 45 points from three pickups. Sherman's Batch: Adonai Mitchell 0 of 7 targets the week after 7-142-1; Giants D/ST 14; Kaelon Black 70 yards. Another Revision: cut Kendre Miller Nov 1, re-added him Nov 4, cut him again Nov 8. Barkley in the UK: Malik Willis (3) over Tanner McKee. lets go joe flacco: Michael Penix Jr. (13) over Aaron Rodgers. Heard City: Texans D/ST 12. O-Bijan Kenobi: Saints D/ST 4. Standings — LeBron James, Hurts Don't It, Sherman's Batch 7-2; Ty Law School 6-3; Another Revision, The Hoff Sauce 5-4; Pookie Bears, Heard City, The Ambiance and The Decor, Commissioner Gordon, Barkley in the UK 4-5; O-Bijan Kenobi 3-6; Ghost of JP 2-7; lets go joe flacco 1-8. Six playoff spots; The Hoff Sauce is sixth. Awards — High: Pookie Bears 166. Low: Ty Law School 55. Blowout: Pookie Bears by 82. Closest: Hurts Don't It by 19. Unluckiest loser: The Ambiance and The Decor (107). Move of the week: LeBron James. Bench of the week: Another Revision (Stroud, 37). Ass clown: Ghost of JP. Week 10 — Ghost of JP v Sherman's Batch; The Ambiance and The Decor v Pookie Bears; Barkley in the UK v Hurts Don't It; Another Revision v Commissioner Gordon; lets go joe flacco v LeBron James; Heard City v Ty Law School; The Hoff Sauce v O-Bijan Kenobi. This week's song — Scrap Heap (mid-90s East Coast boom-bap) Team names only; the league consented. Hunchline: Football is AI-generated and for informational and entertainment purposes only. Nothing here constitutes betting, financial or legal advice.
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